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Fitting In?

For some, entering a new culture feels exciting, adventurous, and fun. New sights, smells, and tastes abound. The thrill and challenge of hearing a new language used exclusively is wonderfully foreign. The desire is to just soak everything in, absorb and learn.

There is also a longing to “fit” in, to be “local”, to be in the know.!I love this and I have had wonderful opportunities to experience this time and time again. Next week's move to Oaxaca, we will be doing it again!

In a sense, I have done as much as I can do over the years, without a higher level of language skills. The interesting part is we will be perfecting our Spanish in an area where half the people only speak their indigenous language. ( Mixtec, Zapotech, Mazotec). Many times when you enter a new community, there are usually three basic stages.

The fancy word is acculturation. Acculturation is a process in which an individual adopts, acquires, and adjusts to a new cultural environment.

The first stage can be infatuation. The meaning is an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something. This is the one most are familiar with. You fly to the Cook Islands. You are amazed at the simplicity of life. The novelty of boxed milk on a store shelf, strange catsup. Everyone is kinder, nicer, calmer, and more helpful than where you are from. You happily soak everything in. Even attending a church service in their style of Māori brings a longing for change in your own. “They are so accepting!”.

I have served in several churches that attracted tourists. Our churches were bilingual, either Spanish or used some Hawaiian liturgy. One was predominately Issei or Nissei. (First or second-generation Japanese) Visitors were extremely excited and blessed. It was a joy to see.

And that is infatuation, puppy love, seeing the absolute best, and being wonderfully overwhelmed by newness.

This is what occurs when you are a tourist or spend maybe, not always, but less than two weeks on a service project. As a missionary, we love it. The visitor returns home with excitement and fervor to assist the under-resourced but kind “locals”. This happens to about ninety percent of short-term teams.

Now, some people never pass this stage. I am not certain that is good. It is more often sadly funny. We have all met the person who desires so much to be “local”. They take hula, speak pidgin, buy a Toyota, and even give themselves a Hawaiian name. (“I am now called Hoʻopunipuni, the aina has accepted me”). It is actually a kind of reverse discrimination. They want a local friend so bad, not because of personality and common interests but more of a notch on their belt.

If you spend a little more time with your boots in the field and are honest, a second stage appears. Frustration. You start to see the trash on the roads and beaches. You find that not-so-friendly waiter, rude neighbor, or corrupt cop. You see the same cliques

and problems in the church you are visiting as the ones at home. (Narcissistic pastor, cranky members, no vision, off-key choir, etc.)

If you are doing an immersion-type service project, this can come more quickly. Questions arise, “Why are they (it’s always “they) not helping? Why do “they” go sit by themselves? Why can’t I find the proper tool in this stupid country?"

The list goes on and on and can overwhelm you. You might have days of infatuation here and there but frustration keeps putting a thumb on it. I have had many days where I left a party early, (even in my own house) to go hide and debrief for a bit.

The frustration of not speaking the language and or being on the outside can be again, overwhelming. Sadly, this is where many people quit. The reasons could be, “The people are lazy, take advantage of me, and deserve their fate, I can do this on the Mainland or back in the States without the corruption, heat, dirt, rudeness, etc.”.

Frustration is of Satan. Truly.

If you make it through the frustration stage, you find yourself a little more in balance, a little more Pono. You hopefully come to Adoption. Adoption is the act of taking something on as your own. When you adopt a child, they are yours through infatuation and frustration. This is to Hānai in the Polynesian culture. “I got you, through thick and thin, we will grow together.” You find the truth about people, there are some good, some bad, some selfless, some selfish, some will use you, some will be altruistic, some will be narcissistic. People are people, saved through Christ.

Finally, regarding different folks, Paul says this writing to the Corinthian church

"To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law, I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings

Why do we go? To love people to Jesus Christ. The Bible clearly and unapologetically states this, Acculturate to Propagate His ‘Ohana.



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